Careful with that Axe Eugene.......

Sometimes it seems like there are so many things in life to worry about. To wonder, am I doing this right? How do I feel about this? It's times like this that your gut can come into play, but what if my stomach is turning? Then my head gets in the way. It seems like lately, I am wondering too much. I envy life being so simple as a child.

Hanging with my baby brother today, I realized that I really miss that simplicity that life had to offer. The funny thing is, is I remember only wanting to be bigger, when I was little. Now that I am bigger; I just want to be little. There's a certain safety in it. He takes a piece of kiwi and looks at me right before he does it, as if to ask
"Is this ok?"

"Andrew, don't rub that kiwi on the table." He just smiles and we wipe the table....all better......"Don't do it again." No problems, except what to play with next and make sure you put the toys back where they belong. He immediately forgot it and moved on.

It's amazing when you start making your own decisions how quickly gray can enter into the black and white. You begin to realize that things that seemed so easy, without the experience behind them, are actually not so easy as they look. I am there, and learning that in our own way we're all those little kids who look to someone as if to ask "Is this ok?" Only now I'm old enough to listen. Either way, I just smile and wipe up the table for myself this time. All better.

Time always has a way of healing things, and you learn how to avoid getting the table dirty.


Current Song: The Lights and Buzz
Artist: Jack's Mannequin

Christmas in California
Its hard to ignore that it feels like summer all the time
But I'll take a west coast winter to remove my splinters
Its good to be alive.

Sing with me, if its just for today

Home, Is this a quiet place where you should be alone? So its about three in the morning and I'm sure that my creative juices are running low at this hour, but its my first post and I figured why not give it a shot.

It seems like there are so many turns in life that tend to take me by surprise. I seem to keep making detours on the GPS of my life. It is funny how I easily I can draw in my own directions too. I mean, it never seems hard at the time to make a decision. To do something and not think too much about it. To take someone's bad advice or get a little road rage and follow someone in a different direction than I was headed, just to be a dick. (Maybe you haven't ever followed someone for cutting you off and I applaud you for being a saint.) It's almost scary how easy it is to get caught up in the moment of something and forget how you got there.

Its dangerous business walking out your front door. You never know what is going to happen. The saddest thing about that is that I know very few people that live with that in mind. I talk to people every day who are scared that they might loose their job, and no one seems happy that they have a job. When did we start taking so much for granted? It seems like there is so much that we have to be thankful for, but so little that we actually are. I have noticed this in myself lately and realized that I have so much to be thankful for. Why do I compare myself so much with what someone else has? When did it become ok for everything in life to be a competition or about fair and unfair? It's amazing how fast I push those directions in my GPS too. "Take me to....fair because this feels so unfair." The funny thing about it is, is that it totally doesn't matter. Sometimes things are just what they are.

I guess desperate times call for desperate mesures, but why are we so desperate? Why do I get so sidetracked on the little things in life. A small detour turns into a new destination, and I end up stopping in a different place all together. I have overstayed my welcome. The writing is on the walls, its time for me to go. Back on the highway of life....

I am excited to see where this road takes me. The hope I have for the future is ever so inviting.


Current Song: Dream On
Artist: Aerosmith

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away